Salon :: Tech & Business

Ask the Pilot: From "cross-check" to "wind shear": A glossary of airline-speak for the curious passenger

There's a cartoon on Page 71 of the April 30 issue of the New Yorker. It depicts two pilots sitting in their seats. (It's obvious from the small touches that the artist went out of his way to realistically portray a cockpit: the jump-seat briefing cards tucked into the chair-back pockets; the retracted shoulder belts; the sidewall-mounted fire extinguisher with metal tension clasps; the correctly placed altitude indicator and horizontal situation indicator instruments; even the elevator trim rocker switches, right where they should be on the control yokes.) The caption goes like this: The captain (wearing the correct four-stripe epaulets) is saying to the first officer (wearing the correct three-stripe epaulets): "Whether I have five passengers or five hundred, I try to make the same inane announcements."

As a pilot who tries hard to keep his public address chatter brief and informative, my feelings are hurt. But I have to ask: Is it true? Do pilots, as a rule, make inane announcements? I don't always listen, frankly, but I assumed we did a pretty good job. I mean, what passenger doesn't want to hear that "we'll be shooting the localizer to one six left?" Or that the wind in St. Louis is blowing from the southeast at 8 knots? Or that the dew point is up to 16 Celsius? People need to know.

OK, so maybe the artist has a point.

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